Topic 12 - Meaning between the lines (Session B) > Politeness and impoliteness > Task A

Politeness and impoliteness

Task A - Our answer

Human beings are social animals, and so to achieve almost all of our goals we have to cooperate with one another. Having other people feel well disposed towards us is thus likely to be helpful to us as we try to achieve our own goals. Let us take a trivial example to illustrate this point. Imagine that you have just arrived at Lancaster railway station and want to find the way to the university. You see a young woman with a pushchair, and so you decide to ask her. In theory you could say ‘How do I get to Lancaster University?’. But if you say that, in spite of the fact that you have indicated what information you need efficiently, the woman is likely to think of you as being rather abrupt, if not rude, and this is could well decrease her wish to help you. After all, she has her own goals to achieve (e.g. getting her small child home before it starts to rain) and you are getting in the way (i.e. you are being negatively impolite, or imposing on her negative face). However if you say ‘Excuse me, but I’m new to Lancaster am a bit lost. Could you possibly tell me how to get to Lancaster University?’ you are much more likely to receive a positive answer.

This is because you are mitigating your negative impoliteness (getting in her way) by using various linguistic politeness strategies. ‘Excuse me’ is a conventional politeness expression. Telling her you are new to Lancaster helps to indicate that you really do need assistance. And finally, when you ask the question you have been more linguistically indirect through your use of ‘could you’ (indirectness is more polite than directness) and also suggested through your hedging use of ‘possibly’ that the size of the task you are asking of her is rather larger than it actually is (thus enhancing her positive face if she is able to tell you the way).

You could have ‘sugared the pill’ even more by indulging in a bit of positively polite behaviour before making your request - for example by saying ‘What a pretty little girl you have!’ and something asking about her before making the above request. Mothers of small children usually view them as being part of their social deictic centre (we looked at social deixis in Topic 8), and so they are usually flattered if you show interest in them and/or praise them.

We can see from this example that politeness is a necessary strategy for us to use if we are to achieve social and other goals. This is why it is a universal human phenomenon.

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