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subtext ***************************************************** 'Truth: lies open to all' ***************************************************** Issue 137 22 October 2015 ***************************************************** Fortnightly during term time. All letters, contributions and comments to: subtext-editors@lancaster.ac.uk subtext does not publish material that is submitted anonymously, but will consider requests for publication with the name withheld. subtext reserves the right to edit submissions. Back issues and subscription details can be found at www.lancs.ac.uk/subtext For tips to prevent subtext from getting swept up into your 'junk email folder', see: www.lancs.ac.uk/subtext/dejunk/ CONTENTS: editorial, vickytext, LUSU, Fiona Aiken, colleges, meanwhile in other places, spot the swoosh, destroy the swoosh, Shart attack, letters. ***************************************************** EDITORIAL Despite the many successes Lancaster University has enjoyed in the past year, including rushing up the league tables (comparisons with a game of Snakes and Ladders unwelcome) and an apparently better than expected/feared REF result, there is one area where the University management has repeatedly shown that it needs to improve: namely, the extent to which it genuinely and meaningfully consults staff and students about sweeping institutional changes. Our summary of last year’s stories provides numerous examples, not least the logo and postgraduate tuition fee increases, but we cannot help but wonder what lies in store for subtext readers this session, and how well the University intends to respond to any kind of backlash: they certainly haven’t been answering subtext's calls on a wide range of issues. Watch these pixels. Speaking of watching pixels, readers may have noticed that subtext has been less than fortnightly this term, having missed our usual week 2 launch date. The subtext collective is only a hive-mind based in fragile human shells, and occasionally life and/or ill health get in the way: the latter befell a member of the collective last week, and we wish our fellow drone a full and speedy recovery. Future issues of subtext this term will (we hope) be released on Thursday of weeks five, seven and nine. And on that note, we repeat our call for more contributors, either as members of the collective or as authors of occasional contributed pieces. Please get in touch, we don’t bite (much)! ***************************************************** BRAVE NEW LOOK A new term, a new subtext ... and also a flashy and shiny new look for what some might call the University’s second-best electronic staff news organ. We refer, of course, to LU Text – a subversive, satirical and more critical counterpart to subtext. Astute readers of LU Text (we assume there must be a small overlap between this group and the of course ever-astute readers of subtext) may have noticed that clicking on one of the links in the new-look LU Text sends them to a website address that begins with http://internalcommunications.cmail19.com/. Before readers jump to the conclusion that this very generic-looking URL is a complex phishing scam and they will shortly be asked to hand over their bank account information to the President of the Hustle Group of World-Leading Good Universities (see subtext 136), this domain was registered by an Australian company called Campaign Monitor Pty Ltd., which offers a service that is apparently (according to its own website) “loved by over 2 million people at 150,000 businesses around the world” and provides, "for every email marketing campaign ... a detailed set of real-time reports to track who opened it, who shared it, and much more.” So as well as providing an attractive visual ambience for the Vice-Chancellor’s latest missive, it also allows the university, or rather an online marketing company on behalf of the university, to collect information about who is clicking on what in the newsletter, what sort of device and browser they are using, and whether they are on the toilet or not at the time (OK, that last one may be the result of an Orwellian cheese-dream). Readers can rest assured though - the new-look LU text was "redesigned thanks to involvement from the 100-strong Staff Panel”. We are absolutely sure they were extensively consulted on issues related to privacy, data security, and whether it is appropriate for staff to be treated as “customers” for internal communications. ***************************************************** BUCS TO BE YOU In subtext 128, we covered the hike in PG and international student fees. Justifying the decision before the University Court, the Deputy Vice-Chancellor cited further increasing institutional costs. During that particular farrago, it was the Students' Union who mercilessly barracked and ridiculed senior management at every opportunity. It was the SU, it seemed, who were the ones to step in and cut through the hifalutin and presumptuous invoicing of students ... ... Until now! SCAN (which subtext can recommend to staff as well as the student readers it is ostensibly aimed at; there are some stunning pieces of journalism in the latest issue) has revealed the details of significant funding changes to clubs wishing to compete in British Universities and Colleges Sport (BUCS). The problem - LUSU is strapped for cash, and BUCS drains 22% of the SU's expenditure. The solution? Students will have to pay significantly more to join competitive sports teams. To be precise - a £99 compulsory bronze gym membership. Remarkably, SU officers have publicly been quite complacent. They have released joint statements with the University, while geologists reported tectonic shifts as one officer attempted to explain to SCAN how charging students more money to join a sports team would save students money whilst also raising more money from students to plug funding gaps (tinyurl.com/oczmh2a). subtext wonders if the SU officers defending the changes actually believe what they are saying, or if the rattling off of carefully spun but easily broken reasoning constitutes LUSU's new ethos of 'building bridges' with the University and trying not to rattle any cages. Those who attended the recent UCU meeting with Sally Hunt will have detected signs of this new realpolitik approach, when one of the invited LUSU sabbatical officers defended the use of zero-hours contracts - students welcome the flexibility, apparently. No self-respecting student representative would run on a cost of living platform during elections and go on to meaningfully endorse a policy that will price students out of sport, and it is a shame that t'Union appears not to have attacked the University for the invidious position being foisted upon them. After all, it is understood that the Vice-Chancellor is dead keen on Lancaster being rated as a top sporting institution in line with the likes of Durham and Loughborough - he misguidedly agreed to inject £70,000 into extra coaching in preparation for Roses, which (as is traditional for an away Roses) we lost in dramatic fashion, but it would seem that University House is unwilling to inject central funds to lessen the financial burden on students wishing to take part in competitive sports. As expected, the reaction from the students has been less than favourable, and it is the Union staff on the activities and comms desks who will have to bear the brunt of the backlash (although the University was briefly petitioned: http://tinyurl.com/pcj5ybw) They undoubtedly would argue that institutions at the top of the BUCS leagues charge even more than Lancaster plans to, but these Universities also generally offer higher bursary packages to low income students, and have fewer students from the relevant backgrounds in need of such support in the first place. If the SU is expected to bolster the reputation (and NSS scores!) of the University, and if it falls to the participation of students to achieve that and represent the University, then it is obvious who should be coughing up. Sadly, it seems that the Union's unwillingness to rattle the cage of the University isn't going to help their image in the long run, and it is better to fight on behalf of the students than deliver rehearsed platitudes on behalf of the University. ***************************************************** AIKEN MAKES A BREAK FOR IT A major surprise at the beginning of the academic year was undoubtedly the announcement of the early retirement of the University Secretary. Our world-wide readership will want to join the subtext collective in wishing her a long, happy and fulfilling retirement. Over the years her statements and actions have provided a wealth of material for subtext articles for which we will always be grateful. She is due to step down in March 2016 and, as is our custom, subtext will in due course publish a full appreciation of her contribution to the university during her 16 years in office. In past years we would have hoped that such a senior and distinguished servant would have continued to enrich the life of the campus and maintained their connection with the university. Alas, this is no longer possible. As a result of last year’s Council decision, retiring staff will no longer be able to continue their university membership and all their links will be severed at midnight on the day of their departure. The author of this policy? None other than Ms Aiken herself. How she must be regretting that rash action, always assuming, of course, that she would want to have any connection with her erstwhile employer. As yet there is no talk of a search for her replacement, although in light of the Vice-Chancellor’s clear vision of what a senior management team should look like, subtext wonders if someone close to the top is being primed to take on a lot more responsibility. ***************************************************** AT LONG LAST ... The farrago of the Principalships of Bowland and Lonsdale Colleges (subtext passim ad nauseam) has finally come to an end. Before the end of last term, Lonsdale College swore in Dr Charlotte Baker (DELC) as its new Principal, replacing the long serving Dr Keith Davidson. By all accounts from the old hands she is a fine choice and firmly on the side of the Colleges. Former FHM Dean Professor Mary Smyth has taken over from Mr Joe Thornberry as Principal of Bowland College – a very interesting choice given her hitherto limited visibility within the College, but to many who have observed her settling into her post, she brings the tenaciousness and strength of character befitting a College such as Bowland. subtext wishes both of them well in what can often be a thankless job, and hopes that they shall amplify College issues to a senior management that is all too often didactic and cloth eared (evidenced most recently by their unilateral command over Lonsdale and Bowland Colleges and ignoring their needs during a whole year of uncertainty). Elsewhere, Jayne Corless has stepped down as the Principal of Cartmel College, replaced by Head of Recruitment, Admissions and International Development Tom Buckley, while ‘Senior Principal’ Frank Wareing (Fylde) has done his full nine years, and responsibility for Fylde will now be undertaken by HR’s Jean Bennett. While we wish Mr Buckley and Ms Bennett well, we cannot help but be perturbed by the fact that neither of these are academic appointments; despite greater involvement from academics being a stated aim of the orchestrated waste of time that was the College Review earlier in the year (see subtext 130). As subtext understands it, both Fylde and Cartmel had at least one candidate each who fitted the bill. Who knows what’s going on there? ***************************************************** TALES FROM OTHER PLACES At the risk of starting the new term with something that reads as though lifted from Part One Media Studies, subtext is intrigued by the differing coverage of planning permission that is (or is not) granted to Universities. On the 22nd March this year the Times Higher announced that LSE’s central London campus had been granted planning permission by Westminster City Council, on 17th March, for the construction of a seven-storey extension to an existing building and a major new building – part six-storey, part 13-storey – as well as the creation of a new public square. Building work was to start this summer. Contrast this with the coverage (i.e. none) of the news that Keele University has been refused (following appeal) planning permission for the development of student accommodation blocks on its campus, and residential development at The Hawthorns, Keele. Portsmouth University suffered a similar rebuttal over the summer, regarding its planned accommodation expansion. Perhaps a more interesting story is what is occurring at Ulster University. The BBC has reported elements of the sorry tale but has not yet put the pieces together. In February of this year Ulster University announced it was cutting more than 50 of its undergraduate courses. In April it announced that the second phase of the Ulster University's new Belfast campus would be built by a joint venture between Lagan Construction Group and the Portuguese firm Somague. The £150m contract would involve constructing two new buildings and refurbishing existing buildings. The contract for this work has been agreed and signed before the small matter of gaining planning permission for a student housing scheme in the area. In August Antrim and Newtownabbey Borough Council’s planning committee refused to grant planning permission for the University of Ulster’s outline application. ***************************************************** THE SWOOSH REFUSES TO GO ... Over the Summer you will remember that we were asked/urged/ordered to banish all vestiges of the swoosh from our academic lives. As part of the rebrand by the end of August we should have purged ourselves. The WitchFinders Generals Team would be out and about making sure non-believers were on message and were no longer associating with the old branding. A number of Departments spent the Summer clearing out the stationery rooms and administration offices, and pleading with staff to look in their offices and requesting that if they had any old envelopes or headed paper etc. could they please leave them in the labelled boxes in the kitchen areas for recycling in early September. These boxes were invariably placed on tables next to the noticeboards. Noticeboards that had notices on them. Notices that had the swoosh on their top right hand corners. Warms the cockles of your heart. Subscribers may also be pleased to learn that the Chaplaincy Centre still has a roof and indeed the entrances still bear the swoosh logo. Also that most visible and moving manifestation of the swoosh, still trundles every ten minutes or so, every day, rain or shine, down the A6 to and from the University. ***************************************************** ... BUT THEY’RE TRYING THEIR DAMNEDEST http://tiny.cc/kj0y4x It would appear that the heavies have been sent in to take extreme action. ***************************************************** SHART ATTACK FROM: Mike M. Shart, V-C, Lune Valley Enterprise University (LuVE-U). TO: Hewlett Venkkline, Chief Visioneer, Stakeholder Influx Facilitation SUBJECT: Bolstering LuVE-U's Elite Image. Hewlett, Hope you return from Mauritius soon; there’s all sorts of nonsense coming from the department in your absence – gross over-expenditure, posters that make no sense and the best that the department has done to promote one of the new buildings is to find pretty girls and take pictures of them in front of it. There have been some highly interesting developments in the news. Apparently David Cameron, who is the Prime Minister, performed unspeakable acts involving his proverbial 'humping hock' and the severed head of a dead barnyard animal. This, it is said, is an initiation ceremony for the 'Piers Gaveston Society', an elite men-only dining club limited to 12 undergraduate students at Oxford University. Its membership has consisted of a number of high profile political figures including, of course, the Prime Minister, and it is well known as a breeding ground for future political allegiances, formed over debauched sessions of drinking, drug taking and enterprising sexual congress. Indeed, it is regarded as an establishment that imbues its members with the status not only to succeed at the highest possible level, but to illuminate Oxford as an elite institution. Do you think we could set up something like that here? Mike. **** FROM: Hewlett Venkkline, Chief Visioneer, Stakeholder Influx Facilitation TO: Mike M. Shart, V-C, Lune Valley Enterprise University (LuVE-U). SUBJECT: RE: Bolstering LuVE-U's Elite Image. Hi Mike, What are you talking about? I’ve been back from Mauritius for about three weeks now. We don’t actually deal with establishing or maintaining student societies. You’ll have to talk to the Students’ Union about that. HW **** FROM: Mike TO: Hewlett SUBJECT: RE: RE: Bolstering LuVE-U’s Elite Image. We have a Students’ Union? **** FROM: Hewlett TO: Mike SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Bolstering LuVE-U’s Elite Image. Apparently so, ha-haa! The University gives them a big block grant every year to support their activity. The President comes to a lot of your meetings. **** FROM: Mike TO: Hewlett SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: Bolstering LuVE-U’s Elite Image. President? I always assumed he was some bloke from a think tank, and that the grant was a fee for his agency. Thanks for the heads up! MMS. TO BE CONTINUED ... ***************************************************** LETTERS Dear subtext editors, Did you notice that the university library now has an email address specifically for 'academic liaison'. I wondered, what else a university library should do than 'academic'. Love the logo discussion - Thanks for giving me a laugh. Hate the AL discussion - thanks for giving me a frown. Marije ***************************************************** The editorial collective of subtext currently consists (in alphabetical order) of: George Green, James Groves, Ian Paylor, Ronnie Rowlands, Joe Thornberry, Johnny Unger and Martin Widden. |