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subtext ***************************************************** 'Truth: lies open to all' ***************************************************** Issue 135 12 June 2015 ***************************************************** Fortnightly during term time. All letters, contributions and comments to: subtext-editors@lancaster.ac.uk subtext does not publish material that is submitted anonymously, but will consider requests for publication with the name withheld. subtext reserves the right to edit submissions. Back issues and subscription details can be found at www.lancs.ac.uk/subtext For tips to prevent subtext from getting swept up into your 'junk email folder', see:www.lancs.ac.uk/subtext/dejunk/ CONTENTS: editorial, anniversary lecturers, subtext email fail, bunnies, maiden speech, swoosh-spotting, the LUMS peeping tom, bar slogans, scotch eggs, Grad syndicate resurrected, Lancaster in London, LUSU awards, Ruskin exhibition, John Hughes, Shart Attack, LuVE-U people in the news, letters ***************************************************** EDITORIAL Reflections on the general election continue. If you have the time, Prof John Curtice's recent public lecture to the University of Newcastle (recorded on Panopto, lecture-capture fans) is worth a listen: http://www.ncl.ac.uk/events/public-lectures/item.php?john-curtice Curtice's main thesis: unless Labour can manage a 12.5% swing in 2020, the Conservatives will be in power for a LONG time. What can we expect? Mark Garnett has written a useful summary of the Queen's Speech for "The Conversation": as well as the inevitable (EU, Scotland) and the absurd (an Act to Ban Tax Rises), we will face severe restrictions on strikes. Will UCU's just-announced consultative ballot, on a 1% pay increase, be the last chance academic staff get to consider effective industrial action? Sigh. As an antidote to these dour reflections (until the next issue of subtext, that is - get ready for the bumper end-of-year special), subtext proposes some much-needed light relief. Join us as we play spot-the-swoosh, discuss how pork pies can improve your life and look at John Ruskin's turrets. ***************************************************** WHITEWASH They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Remember 'Blair's Babes' and more recently David Cameron and Nicola Sturgeon photographed surrounded by their new intake of MPs. Publicity gold. Surely the University is missing a trick by not announcing the arrival of our new academic crème-de-crème, those 'top-guns' of the academic world, our new Anniversary Lecturers, by having them pose on the steps of Alexander Square surrounding the VC. The tag line could be 'Smith's Smashers' or 'Mark's Magnificents'. Or, maybe the University is saving itself some much needed face. In subtext 134, we erroneously reported that the AL longlist consisted only of three women (out of 47). We accept correction, and wish to clarify, at HR's request, that there were 22 women and 74 men were shortlisted - so, 23%. Which is, er, better. The gender ratio in the first batch of appointments, however, is less promising. subtext currently does not have the exact figures, but understands that a planned photoshoot with the Vice-Chancellor and the new appointments was halted to avert a less than inclusive image of the University. ***************************************************** IT HINTS AND TIPS Our team of tech gurus answers your computing queries. ******** Dear tech gurus, I've just tried to send a bulk email to my subscribers, but it seems that it was never delivered. What should I do? Yours, Confused of Lancaster ******** Dear Confused, This is absolutely nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, mail servers do occasionally get busy, and at times of high volume, deliveries of bulk emails may be delayed by up to 24 hours. Rest assured, your email hasn't been lost, and will eventually be delivered to all recipients. What you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO is repeatedly keep submitting the same bulk email, again and again, alongside several "test emails" for good measure. All that will happen is that, when the backlog clears, your recipients will receive multiple copies of the same email at the same time, and you will look foolish. I hope this response has solved your problem. Yours, The tech gurus ***************************************************** WHERE HAVE ALL THE BUNNIES GONE? Not long ago you could not park your car without falling over one or at least spotting them skipping, hopping, cavorting and generally seeming to have a good time. Now there is not a rabbit to be seen. Has there been a cull that we were not informed about? Have they all done a Watership Down and pranced, gambolled and bounced off Campus to somewhere better? More likely, they have caught sight of that looming, forbidding unfriendly shield and thought 'this place has changed' and voted with their paws. [Stop press - more news from our bunny correspondent. Apparently it's cats. There have been a few semi-feral cats on campus for a couple of years now, and they hunt and eat the rabbit babies. Cute, innit!] ***************************************************** MAIDEN SPEECH The newly-elected MP for Lancaster and Fleetwood, Cat Smith, gave her maiden speech in Parliament on 1 June. This is of more than usual interest to subtext readers because she is a graduate of Lancaster University; whilst a student here she became Women's Officer of LUSU, which may have acted as part of her apprenticeship for a parliamentary career. Maiden speeches are formulaic affairs, it seems. It's the done thing to refer in positive terms to one's predecessor in the seat - so Cat Smith made complimentary remarks on Eric Ollerenshaw - and the new MP shouldn't be controversial in the maiden speech. Nonetheless, she managed to include reference to prisoners tried in Lancaster Castle such as the Quaker founder Margaret Fell and the Chartist leader Fergus O'Connor, as well as to the leading suffragette Selina Martin and this University's founding Vice-Chancellor Charles Carter, who was briefly imprisoned for his pacifist views. Continuing on this theme, she advocated the adoption of a consistent and ethically driven foreign policy. She argued that the UK should accept a much larger number of refugees from the Syrian conflict, and that it should review its relations with Saudi Arabia, where 'our Government continue uncritically to support a regime currently on course to execute a record number of people in a single year.' The phrase 'parliamentary career' here may sound a touch ambitious, when Cat Smith has been in parliament for just a month, but her maiden speech was not entirely uncontroversial. On this showing, she appears to be someone who wants to make her mark at Westminster. ***************************************************** SPOT THE SWOOSH Our subscribers have taken our 'spot the swoosh' competition very seriously indeed, with one searching far further afield than we could have imagined. The following swoosh - http://tinyurl.com/nmokhd7 - was spotted at the Olashore International School in Nigeria. And yet, another subscriber looked even FURTHER afield, into virtual reality. It would appear that Lancaster is aiming to be the first 'Minecraft' University (Minecraft is a video game that enables players to build constructions out of textured cubes in a 3D procedurally generated world.) Impressive though the feat is, someone in Marketing should fire off a memo to those working on this project soonest - http://tinyurl.com/odmsh4z Rendering our campus in Minecraft is no mean feat, as any computer scientist would attest. subtext understands that similar ambitions have only ever been fulfilled by the University of Surrey, which in 1994 became the first campus ever to be fully rendered in 'Doom', a very old 1st person shooter video game. Perhaps fittingly, in the Surrey version of 'Doom', the 'Imps' and 'Cyberdemons' that players were tasked with shooting could be found in their virtual reality University House... ***************************************************** PEEPING TOM Speaking of logos, the Management School, which hitherto had been exempt from rebranding, has now adopted its own version of the shield (see Ian Reader's letter). Now, subtext would never be so crass as to entertain rude thoughts about our marketing . . . . . . but it does look like somebody peering in at you through a crack in your curtains. ***************************************************** SOCIAL GRACES The publicity of the College Bars has, it is safe to say, produced some notable howlers since being fully subsumed by Commercial Services in 2012. The newest Retail Services clanger is the 'Way of Life' poster campaign. Regular punters in Grad Bar are told to enjoy the new pork pies and scotch eggs on offer 'for a better way of life,' while Bowlanders are encouraged to 'make poker your way of life.' subtext is unsure how excessive weight gain and a gambling addiction is a lifestyle to aspire for, or, indeed, how pork pies are conducive to a more fulfilling life - what would Distinguished Professor (now Sir) Cary Cooper think? ***************************************************** THAT SAID... Don't be fooled by the supermarket props on the posters - the new food offerings in Grad make perfect sense and are splendid, especially the Scotch Eggs, which ooze with runny yolk the second you put a knife through it. They go down swimmingly with English mustard. ***************************************************** DEMOCRACY COMES TO GRAD Talking of Grad . . . next Monday lunchtime, a small piece of history will unfold, as The Graduate College holds its first full syndicate meeting since the mid-90s. Members of the college are invited to come along to Lonsdale SCR at 12 noon on Monday 15 June to help "shape what we should be doing in the coming months and years". subtext congratulates the Graduate College Principal for her initiative and hopes the meeting will be well-attended. Will people come, though? Why were members only given 5 days' notice? (After twenty years, an extra week wouldn't make a lot of difference . . .) And why host the event at noon on a Monday during the exams period? Syndicate meetings were abandoned, all those decades ago, because, we believe, attendance had become derisory. It would be rather bittersweet if this attempt at resurrection were to suffer the same fate. ***************************************************** LANCASTER GOES TO TOWN subtext readers will know that our elders and betters on D Floor have lofty ambitions, and this is certainly true when it comes to student recruitment. We want more students, we want brighter students, and ideally we don't want quite such a high a proportion of them to hail from the North West of England. We have our shield. Let's get recruiting! The heavily-trailed "Lancaster in London" event on Thursday 2 July forms part of this drive. Taking pride of place on the university website, it promises a day of events for Year 12 students, prospective postgraduates and school teachers. Visitors can expect taster sessions from a variety of departments in FASS and the Management School (although nothing from the sciences - anyone know why?). The sessions look good: "How much do we really know about Stalin?", for example (insert jocular reference to University Senate meetings here), or perhaps "Choosing tomorrow's children: the ethics of selective reproduction". The best events of this type grow slowly, aided by word of mouth and clever marketing. Picking the right venue is important: big enough, but not so big as to be overwhelming. So - how shall we put this? - subtext can't help wondering if the decision to pick Westminster Central Hall, the grandest venue in the whole metropolis, with dozens of world-class higher education institutions literally within walking distance, might have been a little ambitious. Or, to put it another way, "AARGH!!! WE'VE BOOKED THE BIGGEST VENUE IN CENTRAL LONDON. HOW IS THIS EVER GOING TO WORK?" Well, if you never try, you'll never know. Next time - "Lancaster does Madison Square Garden". ***************************************************** RIGHT UP The Students' Union awards took place last Saturday, and subtext extends its congratulations to all those who were deemed worthy of prizes - it is imperative to occasionally recognise the charity, aspiration and engagement of students, without whom Lancaster would be a far less enrichening place to work and study. A more exciting and out of the ordinary moment took place, however, towards the end, when the presenter of the ceremony (unnamed in this piece, but frequently so elsewhere in most issues of subtext, usually at the bottom...) and Vice-President O'Neill went drastically off script and presented a new 'unofficial' award, 'The Peoples' Fist Right Up Cup for Excellence in Troublemaking' (readers with longer memories will remember, probably in horror, what 'Peoples' Fist' refers to...), to those who occupied University House last December. subtext understands that the occupiers were shortlisted for some award or other, but subsequently quashed by one individual who felt that a Students' Union shouldn't upset the University, or at least, award those who have. In an age where Students' Unions are expected to serve as tokenistic representation and act as subservient think-tanks to their respective universities, it is good to see that ours still has some teeth. ***************************************************** TOWERS AND TURRETS This is the title of an exhibition currently on show at the Ruskin Library. It consists largely of sketches made by John Ruskin when on his travels in Germany, France and (especially) Italy, the country that was his particular love. They were made on several journeys, covering a considerable period of his life. Ruskin evidently made these sketches chiefly as a personal record of what he saw, particularly architectural features. An excellent observer, his depictions of buildings and parts of buildings are fine examples of his draughtsmanship, often done quite quickly and not in any sense finished works of art. Some are sketches included in letters sent to friends, and particularly to his cousin Joan Severn. He tried photography - the exhibition includes a small number of daguerreotypes taken by Ruskin - but it was probably quicker, and certainly easier, to do a quick sketch than to go through the long process of producing a daguerreotype, which was then easily damaged by smearing. Some of the drawings are annotated in Ruskin's own hand. Thus a sketch of the Towers of the Abbey at Baden bears the legend 'very careful half an hour - meant to be gone on with', but unfortunately he never did go on with it. On an 1859 sketch of a church steeple at Kempten, he has scribbled at one side 'Black thing? - what? Wish I knew! 1873.' Probably none of this would be of importance had Ruskin not had such wide interests and been so influential across a huge range of the arts, including painting, architecture, industrial design and literature. He was one of the first to understand and appreciate the paintings of Turner, about which he wrote in his Modern Painters, published in the 1840s. His later writings extended into political economy. This explains the finding of a survey of the first parliament in which the Labour Party gained seats that Ruskin's Unto This Last had had a greater influence on its members than Das Kapital, and (according to the American writer George P Landow, writing in 1985) 'recent historians have credited him with major contributions to modern theories of the Welfare State, consumerism and economics.' Although it seems doubtful that his observation of the towers and turrets of Germany, France and Italy had any influence on his later radical views, these fine sketches are records made by a remarkable man and are worth seeing for both reasons. ***************************************************** JOHN HUGHES (In subtext 134, we invited readers to share their memories of John Hughes. The following has been submitted by Professor John Wakeford.) I must add a personal word to Paul K. Miller's memories of John Hughes to cover his first few years in Lancaster. Son of a fireman, and with a first-class degree from Birmingham, John was without question the most impressive new member of the Sociology Department at Exeter when we first met there in 1966. So, when I was appointed to set up sociology at Lancaster in 1969, I invited him to apply to join us. With David (later Carol) Riddell, Max Atkinson, Kate Currie, Chris Otley, John Urry and Nick Abercrombie he took a leading part in creating that radical embryonic department in 1969/70. He embraced with alacrity the new opportunities Lancaster provided - to challenge the traditions of pre-Robbins universities and create a new collegiate structure. John was meticulous scholar, all ideas indexed on 4x2 cards, and a popular colleague, tutor and lecturer. It was suggested that the Faraday lecture theatre was full for his Part 1 lectures because students not registered for the course decided to share in them. He made abstract sociological perspectives and concepts accessible. His engaging and non-hierarchical style in tutorials and seminars made first generation undergraduates immediately at home. In those early years the Department of Sociology we were a close and happy band. Aside from minuted meetings we shared our dreams for the department during picnics at Tarnbrook, after swimming at the Crook o' Lune, over extended lunch with croquet at Long Lane Cottage. John played a central role, more enthusiastic about ideas, visions and relationships than the minutiae of bureaucratic procedure. It was an exciting time to be at Bailrigg. John was an enthusiastic contributor to many initiatives developed with our first students. But our interpretation of the recently formed structures trod on sensitivities, and met with suspicion and opposition from senior colleagues in already established departments - including (believe it or not) proposals to rethink assessment by replacing the 3-hour Part 1 exams with coursework and short answer tests, and to examine second year courses at the end of the second year. But I think students recognized our efforts. Many who had been admitted to other major subjects at Part 1 transferred to Part 2 Sociology. We had such a high proportion of first class degrees in our initial finals results that (as I heard subsequently) the VC had checked in confidence with Tom Bottomore, our external, that they were indeed valid. He confirmed that they were. And, as apparently Lancaster's professoriate's 'problem department', we were alone in not being invited to make clandestine recordings of English Department visionary David Craig's visiting lectures to students on creating an alternative university. John's other enthusiasm was the community beyond the department as exemplified by Lancaster's college system. Discussion continued after hours in Cartmel Bar. A warm and supportive colleague in times of stress, with complete integrity, without side, but an ambition to share his enthusiasms - for his subject and for Lancaster University. It was an honour to have shared those years with him. I am glad that his contributions received greater formal recognition in subsequent years but doubt if he would have found the New World Order in higher education quite so congenial. ***************************************************** SHART ATTACK Memo: To all staff Dear All, I'm sure you all remember the good news I announced recently, of a new venture at Pripyat, which apparently is in a country called 'Ukraine' at the moment, but which has been targeted - for investment, of course - by our new partners in neighbouring Russia. The Putin-on-the-Lune Global Academy seems to be prospering, from what I can gather from our local contact, Vladimir, who sounded very upbeat when he spoke to me about his plans for country-wide expansion. LuVE-U has no intention of stopping there. Our official mission statement, after all, is to globally go where no Research-Intensive institution has previously globulised. At the same time, we want to share our plans with YOU - the much-valued staff who can be relied upon to praise your leaders when things go well. So I am proud to reveal a little secret I've been keeping from you, about a comprehensive consultation exercise relating to our next exciting project. This exercise, which ended yesterday, attracted no respondents, thus confirming the justifiable (and rather humbling) confidence which you feel in the fortunate personnel perched in our unobtrusive staff-monitoring facility at LuVE-U House. Thank-you, one and all! Intoxicated by the refreshing new breeze of openness, I think I should entrust you with a further confidence. The consultation exercise, which is now closed, concerned an idea for further LuVE-U expansion. Most of us are too immersed in the vibrant life of LuVE-U to notice even our nearest neighbours. But those who ask their chauffeurs to take the car for a spin on the M6 will arrive in a different country, provided that they head in the right direction and go far enough. This country, 'Scotland', is the next stop on the LuVE-U itinerary towards the globularist destination we must reach if we're ever to join the elite Pustule Group of universities. Scotland, I'm told, is an oil-rich land which is fighting for its independence. In other words, it's a bit like Ukraine, but in reverse. These little details shouldn't deter us. More importantly, it's a one-party state; and, apparently, the local inhabitants have a particular soft-spot for English people. Is there a downside to this initiative? I hear you ask. Well, maybe a couple. 'Scotland' is currently part of the EU, so there are annoying implications re: fee levels. However, when the country gains independence - a mere formality, my highly-placed informant (code-named 'Caviar') tells me - it will stay in the EU while we in England will escape from that intolerable regime of interfering bureaucrats who seem to do nothing more than enforce decisions without consultation - and, on the downside, sends us students who pay scandalously low tuition fees. This leads me to my second concern. Apparently, students in 'Scotland' don't pay any fees at all! This is very likely to change once students at our new Salmond-in-the-Tweed campus has opened for business have seen at first hand the superior consumer experience which emanates from a market-driven operation like our own. I'll keep you all up-to-date about developments, although regular technical upgrades on the intranet might occasionally impede my communications with regard to this initiative. Yours, Mike P.S I've just been told that some of you would have liked to hear about the consultation exercise before, rather than after, its successful completion. Some people are never satisfied! - but as always we're willing to listen. So I have authorised a campus-wide survey of opinions on our consultative process. This consultation closed yesterday, and I can disclose that the response was 0%. If even those who complain can't be bothered to participate. we must be doing something right! ***************************************************** LuVE-U TEXT: PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Professor Lenin (Sociology) has been awarded a £5 million British academy grant to interrogate, deconstruct and generally waffle on about the strategies which British academics adopt in the frantic quest for research grants. Professor Glans (Physics) has been awarded £2.34 from Penny St. pencil-buyers, to further his research into the meaning of life and the origins of the universe. Professor McHenry (Linguistics) has been awarded a Nobel Prize, and a seat in the House of Lords, for unravelling the mysteries of the Research Excellence Framework (REF). Distinguished Professor (now Sir) Gary 'Bowser' Koopa (Lord High Everything Else) has received a mention in LuVE-U Text for his Earth-shattering research into the dangers of orally consuming vast amounts of bromabutonic acid in the workplace. Mr Barry Twanger (Independent Studies) has received a 6-month custodial sentence for making subversive remarks about the conduct of the Research Excellence Framework (REF), further alleging that it makes no difference to LuVE-U's student recruitment and has next to no impact on most departmental budgets. ***************************************************** LETTERS Dear subtext, According to LU Text 703, LUMS does not need to fully accord with the great new university rebranding process but can use its own version thereof that would be 'less traditional' and that only shows part of the shield and a 'more modern font'. This, apparently, enables LUMS to maintain a 'separate visual identity' even as it remains part of the university. Does this mean other faculties can do similarly and choose which bits to adopt, or is this prerogative exclusive to LUMS? Could FASS, for example, demand to just have a quarter of the shield and a Ye Olde Gothic font (to emphasise its possibly 'more traditional' academic nature), or Health and Medicine replace the shield with a stethoscope? Yours Ian Reader PPR ******** Dear subtext, Thanks for your continuing vigilance. Re your article on noise, "Every Bloody Year", it was my pleasure to be on campus this Saturday and Sunday (30 and 31 May) to support the History postgraduates' "Histfest" conference. It was not my pleasure to be assaulted all weekend by the loud vibrations from a compressor parked in the central Edward Roberts Court (in front of "The Sultan" restaurant). The compressor was pumping high pressure water to contractors blasting the walkways within a wide radius - presumably as part of the clean-up ahead of July's graduation ceremonies. I thought of my final year History students in adjacent residences revising for their last two exams today and tomorrow. I asked myself why Facilities had booked the contractors for this late part of the so-called Quiet Period and not a week or two later. Perhaps they are under the misapprehension that students only revise 9-5, Monday to Friday. Perhaps they should be (dis-)abused. Steve Pumfrey, History [Update - Facilities has responded to Dr Pumfrey's concerns, noting that, due to the "very high profile open day" coming up on 20 June, they need to phase some "particularly intrusive works" at weekends during the Quiet Period in order to meet this date. They are reviewing this policy and will consider people's comments about the impact of these works.] ***************************************************** The editorial collective of subtext currently consists (in alphabetical order) of: George Green, James Groves, Ian Paylor, Ronnie Rowlands, Joe Thornberry, Johnny Unger and Martin Widden.
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